You’ve worked hard to make your story good, but you want it to be great. You know something is missing, but you’re just not sure what it is. Use these tips to avoid the most common pitfalls and bring more passion into your writing:

1. Hook the reader. Good opening lines capture your attention. They make you wonder. They make you want to know more. Those intriguing elements—unique characters or dialogue, the unexpected, surprise, danger—are called hooks.

They shoot the white girl first. — Toni Morrison, Paradise
It was a pleasure to burn. — Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451
You better not never tell nobody but God.  — Alice Walker, The Color Purple

Writing good hooks takes practice. Even great authors don’t turn out great hooks with the first draft. To understand the elements of constructing good hooks, read A Writer’s Guide to Fiction by Elizabeth Lyon. Then see how many hooks you can put into your opening line.  

2. Add conflict. Conflict creates tension, which in turn makes the characters react.

External conflict: Jack’s little girl goes missing at the county fair. 

Internal conflict: Jack is consumed with guilt over not keeping an eye on his daughter. Will he slip into paranoia or will he put aside his fears and take the necessary steps to find her?

Pitting your characters against this turmoil leads to their growth and development. But don’t rescue your characters too soon. Let them fight their own battles. Your readers will thank you for it.

3. Pick up the pace. Too often writers explain everything that happens to the character from the moment he gets out of bed until he goes to sleep. All of that explanation slows down the story. You want the character to feel real, yet not every action needs a description.

Before:  On the subway into work that morning he read his latest book on economics and dozed. At his stop, he got up and exited the train. Then he walked the half mile to the office and entered the revolving door of the building. As he stepped out he came face-to-face with a gun.

After:  The morning started like every morning until he entered his office building and came face-to-face with a gun.

Readers are quite happy for you to skip unnecessary steps. Write the essential parts and let the reader’s imagination fill in the gaps.

4. Avoid passive voice. The passive voice—denoted by the verbs was, were, been— can often feel weak and uninformative. The active voice uses verbs that denote action. These verbs put life in the writing.

Passive: The fire was lit. Snow was on the ground. He had been a bad kisser.

Active: The fire blazed. Fresh snow glazed the driveway. He had kissed with all the fervor of a wet noodle.

Using the active voice lets the reader feel what you write.

5. Show, don’t tell. Telling instructs the reader. Showing puts the reader in the scene.

Telling: Mary was pretty.

Showing: Dark hair curled under Mary’s jaw and emphasized the paleness of her skin, but the shine in her green eyes gave her an inner glow that reminded him of a nun in prayer.

Adding details makes the sentence and the scene come alive. Now the reader can see and feel the beauty.

6. Omit needless words. Trim down cumbersome phrases and delete unnecessary modifiers.

Before: The joint collaboration refers back to both men and women alike.

After: The collaboration refers to both men and women.

The first sentence has three sets of words with similar meanings: joint/collaboration, refers/back, and both/alike, which could be more simply stated. Pay attention to your sentence structure. Listen to the rhythm of the words. Make every word count. If it’s unimportant, take it out.

7. Describe the scene. Every scene needs scenery: a description of the character, location, important objects, anything the author wants the reader to know. When you watch a movie, you’re given visual clues—furniture, clothing, hair color, makeup, decorations, flowers, the weather, the temperature.

The hurricane ripped across the open beach, bending the palm trees almost to the ground. Inside the dilapidated house, she huddled by the doorway, strands of auburn hair plastered against her neck from the sweltering heat.    

The paragraph above shows weather, location, vegetation, condition of the house, color of her hair, and temperature. Paint your scenes with descriptive language.

8. Beware of repetition. Using the same words over and over becomes monotonous for the reader.

Before: Tom looked at Sharon and sat down. She sat down next to him and looked at the scar on her hand.

After: Tom glanced at Sharon and sat by the fire. She sank down next to him and gazed at the scar on her hand.                       

Aside from the standard connectors and articles (and, but, or, a, the, an, that—you’ll have many of these), don’t use the same word twice in the same sentence, and don’t use the same word twice in two sentences next to each other.

9. Run from clichés. We’ve all heard the sayings blood is thicker than water, love is a bed of roses, he fell head over heels. Don’t use the same old phrase people have heard before. If you’re writing about love, think what love means to you. How would you describe it? Use all of your senses. 

Cliché: Love is a bed of roses.

Revised: Love tasted like the fresh tang of lemon in a glass of homemade lemonade.

Readers love writing that is fresh, surprising, interesting. Stay away from clichés and come up with something unique.