Sib­ling rivalry is the most feared con­cept in all of par­ent­hood. It is hard to be excited about a new arrival when thoughts of tantrums and a life­time of squab­bles come to mind. A bit of jeal­ousy is to be expected with a new arrival, but does not need to remain the rule in a house­hold. There are sim­ple ways to help your older child adjust to his new role in the house that fos­ter affec­tion and enjoy­ment for everyone.

It is feared through­out the world. Sib­ling rivalry is one of the most wor­ri­some aspects of par­ent­hood, and in many cases there is sim­ply no way to pre­vent it. Almost all chil­dren will go through a spell of jeal­ousy over the arrival of a new sib­ling, but savvy par­ents are able to help guide their chil­dren through this world of com­plex emo­tions quickly and carefully.

Honor the Older Child

The tod­dler of the house­hold under­goes a huge trans­for­ma­tion in a mat­ter of moments. He has spent his entire life being adored as the delight­ful baby of the house­hold, only to sud­denly find him­self play­ing sec­ond fid­dle to a new baby that just lays there. This can be very con­fus­ing and over­whelm­ing for lit­tle ones.

For this very rea­son, par­ents must be respon­si­ble for mak­ing Big Brother the most impor­tant per­son in the house. Sure there is a new baby, but Big Brother is the one that baby will look to for guid­ance. Only Big Broth­ers are old enough to play games and sing songs.

Per­haps par­ents can encour­age this cre­ativ­ity by pro­vid­ing spe­cial gifts. Chef aprons and hats are per­fect for play­ing in the kitchen set that lit­tle babies aren’t old enough for. My First Piano can encour­age cre­ativ­ity while keep­ing older broth­ers dis­tracted from all the baby gawk­ing the new arrival is receiv­ing. Small items such as baby jew­elry from sites such as SpiffyBaby.com can make this trans­for­ma­tion more set­tling, espe­cially if the older child receives the cov­eted “Big Sis” bracelet.

Mama’s Big Helper

In addi­tion to her new role as Big Sis­ter, the older child takes on the role as Mama’s Helper. Only Big Sis­ter is knowl­edge­able enough to know how to hand mom the right spoon or dia­per. Every­one loves to be needed, and young chil­dren are no dif­fer­ent. Of course, their help can be exas­per­at­ing at times, but try to remem­ber the sense of accom­plish­ment your lit­tle one feels every time she hands you the fifth pair of socks or a used bottle.

One of the most mean­ing­ful times to help with a new baby is bed­time. Bed­time rou­tines gen­er­ally entail a bath, some sooth­ing time, and a snack. Let your tod­dler help with bath time. Per­haps he can show the baby how to play with boats or even wield a wash­cloth. High qual­ity bath-time prod­ucts such as Noo­dle and Boo skin care from SpiffyBaby.com are per­fect for splash­ing in the tub with both sib­lings. Once all babies are snug in their paja­mas, let Big Brother read his favorite story to his lit­tle sister.

Encour­age the older child to find ways to enter­tain the baby. Many tod­dlers will appre­ci­ate the rapt atten­tion for their end­less songs and dances. Find ways to work these into the evening rou­tine for fun and sooth­ing fam­ily togeth­er­ness. Allow­ing an older child to be him­self as he adjusts to his new role will go a long way in find­ing suc­cess. A few rough patches are to be expected, but over time, the plan­ning and care­ful atten­tion of par­ents should smooth the path considerably.